Adults Diagnosed with ADHD Later in Life: Part 2
Looking Beyond the Stereotypes of ADHD
Confession: Marie D. is a friend of mine. I've known her for more than 30 years. And with that comes another confession: I would have never guessed she would be diagnosed with ADHD.
Twenty years ago, when she first suspected ADHD, I was dismissive. I was still early in my career and didn't yet understand how differently ADHD can present, especially in women. Marie loved reading, graduated from a competitive high school, and spoke with an eloquence that reflected both education and intelligence.
What I could see—and still know—is that she's always late. What I couldn't see was how much longer it took her to complete assignments, how hard she worked to stay focused, and the constant effort it took to manage her time and attention.
Like many adults with inattentive ADHD, Marie succeeded by working harder than those around her. Today, she works for GE Aerospace. Along with behavioral strategies and medication, she has also found that hormone replacement therapy during perimenopause has helped her better manage her ADHD symptoms.
Here's Marie's story.
At what age were you diagnosed with ADHD?
“I was in my early 20s.”
Why do you think it took so long to be diagnosed with ADHD?
“When I was younger, there was some thought that I had ADHD, but they dismissed it because I was a girl. I loved to read, and I wasn't hyperactive. I remember my parents hiring a tutor who became frustrated with how difficult it was for me to stay on task.”
What has helped you manage your symptoms as an adult with ADHD? What tools or apps do you use?
“Medication wasn't very helpful for me, although I wish I had explored more options when I was younger. Over time, I developed coping strategies that work well for me. I rely heavily on calendars and alarms for everything.
If something is important, I write it down. My job requires a lot of attention to detail, so handwriting notes has become essential. I've found that physically writing things helps cement them in my memory much more than typing. It's a habit I've relied on since college. Nothing is 100% effective, but it's what works best for me.”
What do you think your life would have been like if you had been diagnosed earlier?
“I think my life would have been very different. Maybe I would have embraced medication earlier and had better tools to advocate for myself. Back then, people believed ADHD mostly affected boys. My parents didn't understand, and I often heard, "You have so much potential. Why can't you just get organized?"
Since being diagnosed with ADHD, what has helped the most with improving your executive functioning?
“Writing everything down has been the biggest help. I also started using the Pomodoro Timer, working on a task for five, ten, or fifteen minutes at a time. Timers and large clocks help me stay aware of time.
ADHD also comes with strengths. It allows me to think creatively and recognize patterns that other people don't always see. That has helped me professionally and personally. At the same time, I've learned to be realistic about how long tasks actually take instead of expecting myself to finish everything too quickly.”
What would you like to say to other people who might be struggling with symptoms of inattention or executive dysfunction?
“For women my age, perimenopause can dramatically affect ADHD symptoms. You may have developed coping strategies that worked for years, but hormonal changes can make those strategies less effective. Managing a family, career, and daily responsibilities only adds to the challenge.
For me, hormone replacement therapy made a meaningful difference. My advice is to keep learning about ADHD, be willing to adjust your strategies as life changes, and remember that needing different tools doesn't mean you're failing.”