Women and ADHD
For decades, the "face" of ADHD was a hyperactive young boy disrupting a classroom. Because of this narrow stereotype, an entire generation of women grew up believing their internal chaos was a character flaw rather than a neurological difference.
Today, we are finally pulling back the curtain on what ADHD looks like in women—and why it’s so much more than just "being forgetful."
Why ADHD is Often Missed and Underdiagnosed in Women
In girls and women, ADHD frequently presents as inattentiveness rather than physical hyperactivity. Instead of running around the room, a girl with ADHD might be daydreaming, or she might become a "perfectionist overachiever" to compensate for her internal struggles.
The Role of Masking
Women are often socialized to be the "organizers" of the household and the "caretakers" of others. To fit in, many women develop masking behaviors. Masking is the exhausting process of constantly monitoring your behavior to appear "normal." It looks like:
Staying up until 2 AM to finish a project you procrastinated on, just so no one sees you struggle.
Checking your purse five times for your keys because you’re terrified of losing them again.
Remaining silent in meetings because you’re afraid you’ll blur out something impulsive.
People pleasing tendencies (wanting your teacher/boss to like you)
The Core Challenges
ADHD doesn't just affect work; it touches every corner of a woman's life.
1. Executive Dysfunction
This isn't just "laziness." It is a genuine breakdown in the brain's ability to prioritize tasks. For a woman with ADHD, the simple act of "doing the dishes" can feel like climbing Mount Everest because her brain cannot decide where to start.
2. Emotional Dysregulation and RSD
Many women with ADHD experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). This is an intense emotional pain triggered by the perception (not always the reality) of being rejected or criticized. It can make feedback at work or a small tiff with a partner feel devastating.
3. The Hormonal Factor
Research shows that estrogen levels significantly impact ADHD symptoms. Many women find that their symptoms worsen during their menstrual cycle, pregnancy, or perimenopause. When estrogen drops, the brain’s dopamine levels often drop with it, making focus and emotional control even harder.
The Diagnostic Process for Women with (potential) ADHD
So many times, when women are seeking help for attention span symptoms, they get misdiagnosed with Anxiety. Sure, anxiety and ADHD go hand in hand, but for women with ADHD, anxiety is secondary to ADHD. Sometimes the anxiety has been actually helpful in maintaining executive functioning, sadly, even to the point of becoming Obsessive.
This is why an evaluation by a professional specializing in ADHD is important. Primary Care Physicians, well-meaning as they are, will often first look to treat the anxiety with an antidepressant medication, like Prozac or Celexa.
With a thorough evaluation that includes objective measurement testing it can be determined if an attention span disorder is what’s behind the anxiety or even depressive symptoms.
Thriving with an ADHD Brain
A diagnosis isn't a label of "brokenness"—it’s a manual for how your brain works. If you’re a woman navigating ADHD, here are a few ways to start working with your neurobiology:
Release the Shame: Understand that your "messiness" is a symptom, not a moral failure.
Body Doubling: Many people with ADHD find it easier to finish tasks when someone else is simply in the room with them.
Externalize Your Memory: Don't try to remember anything. Use Alarms, sticky notes, and digital calendars for everything.
Seek Specialized Support: Look for therapists or coaches who specifically understand how ADHD presents in women.